Bullying Is Not a Conflict. It Is an Abuse of Power

Bullying does not begin with shouting.
It begins quietly.
With remarks.
With dismissal.
With a “joke” that hurts.
With a look that says, “I know I can.”

And most importantly,
it continues because someone allows it.

Why Bullying Is Not a Conflict

In psychology, this distinction is clear.

A conflict is a clash between relatively equal parties. Both sides can speak, defend themselves, negotiate, or withdraw.
Bullying, by contrast, is rooted in power imbalance. It is the systematic use of authority, status, influence, or informal power to harm another person.

According to the definition by Dan Olweus, one of the leading researchers in this field, bullying is characterized by:

• repetition

• intentional harm

• an imbalance of power between the parties

In simple terms:
bullying occurs when someone repeatedly and deliberately harms another person who struggles to defend themselves.

It is this imbalance that makes bullying far more damaging than ordinary conflict.
The target is not “arguing.”
They are surviving.

Who Are the People Who Bully?

One of the most uncomfortable findings in organizational psychology is this:

Toxic individuals are not necessarily incompetent.

On the contrary, they are often:

• confident and socially skilled

• strategically minded

• adept at manipulation

• low in empathy

• capable of extracting personal gain from situations that harm others

They rarely lose control.
They exercise it deliberately.

Research from Harvard Business School shows that toxic behavior increases:

• stress

• distraction

• employee turnover

• reduced productivity

and this remains true even when the individual is a high performer.

The Organization That Protects the Bully

When an organization says:

• “They are valuable to the business,”

• “That’s just their style,”

• “We can’t afford to lose them,”

it is making a choice.

A choice for short-term results
over long-term sustainability.

Research on organizational health consistently shows that cultures which fail to address abuse and misconduct create environments marked by:

• chronic stress

• voluntary turnover

• psychological exhaustion

These effects rarely appear in KPIs.
But they are always felt by people.

What Real Accountability Looks Like

Real accountability does not look like:

• a quiet conversation behind closed doors

• a smiling mediator

• “both sides share responsibility”

Real accountability looks like:

• formal reporting of complaints

• clear naming of unacceptable behavior

• fact-based investigations rather than interpretations

• defined consequences

• support for those who have been harmed

Without consequences, there is no culture.
Only a façade.

And the Target?

Among targets of sustained bullying, psychologists frequently observe learned helplessness, a concept first described by Martin Seligman.

This occurs when:

• a person stops defending themselves

• because previous attempts were unsuccessful

• and they eventually believe they have no control

In toxic organizations, targets are often:

• advised to be “more resilient”

• moved “to reduce tension”

• expected to adapt

In other words,
the person who speaks up is punished.

When the Bully Is a Manager

At this point, the issue is no longer individual.
It is systemic failure.

A leader who bullies teaches their team that:

• fear is a management tool

• silence is safety

• boundaries do not apply

And everyone above them who fails to intervene
endorses that lesson.

How to Push Back

Not always through confrontation.
But always through clarity.

Resistance means:

• naming the behavior

• documenting incidents

• finding allies

• setting boundaries

• and, if the system does not respond, choosing yourself

This is an existential decision:
How much of yourself are you willing to sacrifice in order to stay?

Life Unfiltered

Bullying is not solved through workshops.
It is stopped through boundaries.
And through the courage to say:

“This behavior is unacceptable. Period.”

An organization is not defined by the values on its website.
It is defined by whom it protects when things become difficult.

If You Are in Such an Environment

Remember this:

• you are not weak

• you are not overly sensitive

• you are not the problem

The problem is a system
that prioritizes convenience over humanity.

And sometimes the healthiest decision
is not to fight.
But to leave in time.

If you have experienced bullying at work and are wondering whether this is “normal”
it is not.

👉 Get in touch. Sometimes clarity saves more than motivation.